dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
