we have officially mastered the walk of shame
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
