Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
