I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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