if you like me you must not know who I am
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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