it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
