with your own penis?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
