Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
