she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
