which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
