my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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