Are we in a gay sports bar?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
