so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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