areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
