im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she pinky promised me she was 18
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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