I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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