they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
