: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
