When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
