You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
