I wanna passion pit in your ass
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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