what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
