There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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