So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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