i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
