I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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