We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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