my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
