your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
