sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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