He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
