We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
