I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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