i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
