sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
