we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
