12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
