What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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