We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
