I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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