No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
