Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My penis needs a shock collar
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
