don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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