I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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