watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize