"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
