David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
