apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
