Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
false alarm. still invincible.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
