Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
